They Call Me Two-Tone...

My sister lives in a small town just north of Tampa, close to the famed Weeki Wachi, home of the performing mermaids.  She lives in a small mobile home development, off of a bumpy, windy dirt road... in the middle of nowhere.  Since it is summer and my schedule is more flexible than the rest of the year, she has been wanting me to come out and visit on one of her days off.  She is a server at a chain buffet restaurant, and never has the same days off each week. (I believe it is atrocious the way the managers treat their servers in regards to the schedule, but that is another post for another day...)  Last week we made a plan for me to drive over on the following Wednesday and go kayaking.  Splendid.

I told my mother about our plan.  Did she tell you she has a visitor?

Ummmm.... noooooo.  

So, I got the skinny from my parents.  There is a guy staying with Sis who is originally from Scotland but comes by way of Texas.  Make that an ex in Texas.  He is not working, and there is no current plan for him to leave.  They met two years ago on a music website.

Grreeeeaaaaatttttt.

Know this:  Sis and I have had a rough go of it over the years.  I disagreed with some lifestyle and relationship choices she made in her teens and 20s (it is extraordinally distressing to see your little sister with a fool you know is totally and completely making her life a living hell) and because I continued to push myself further and further in an upward direction... to put it nicely... we fell out of favor with one another.  Whenever we were going to be in the same place at the same time Dad would declare the event..."the neutral zone".

Dad is a big-time lover of all things Star Trek.

The neutral zone wasn't always very neutral.  A lot of harsh words were spoken, tears spilled... and more than that, a tremendous amount of silence.  It has taken a lot over the past year to get our relationship back on track, but we're working at it.  Visiting her on Wednesday was part of that.

So, after getting the 411 from my parents, I called Sis and asked her some pointed questions about the situation, and gave her my two cents.  Then I let it go, determined to have an open mind about the situation.  My closed mind can get me into a lot of trouble when it comes to Sis.

I woke up Wednesday morning, showered, grabbed the cooler and headed over to my parents' place, who had a brand-new set of pots and pans that I was to bring to Sis.  After downing some coffee and a slice of peanut butter toast, I took off, armed with the handy GPS feature on my iPhone, my Sirius XM radio, and a few bottles of water.  It took about two hours to get there, with each road taking me deeper into... nowhere.  I kind of liked it... sort of like hiking in the wilderness except that I was in my car with very hip music.  When I got there, Sis and McGuy were just having their own coffee and toast.  Sis made sandwiches for the journey, and we packed the cooler I'd brought for our kayaking adventure.  I changed into my swimsuit and a pair of shorts, kept my long-sleeved gauzy blouse on for additional sun coverage, and liberally applied sunscreen all over my exposed body.  Make that exposed upper-body.  We'll get to Part 2 later.

After accomplishing all other necessary tasks, we left for Homosassa Springs.  Sis and McGuy rented a double kayak, and I rented a single, kayaking solo for the first time.  The owner gave us a map of the river and its estuaries, told us where some neat places to paddle would be, and then we were off!  First we attempted to paddle through this tiny estuary with more obstacles than clear kayaking space, before going back to the main river and finding the next fingerling to explore.  We saw a baby alligator that was about a foot long, several cormorants, herons both great and normal-sized, and an otter... several turtles as well, but not as many as I see when I go to Wekiwa Springs.  We also spotted a number of blue crabs, which I had never seen outside of a crab trap.  Or my dinner plate. 

I asked McGuy questions, to try to learn his story and ascertain his character, but just as I surveyed his interactions with Sis from my hawkish big sister vantage point, I am certain he regarded me in the same fashion.  In fact, when I met him I told him that I was sure everything Sis had told him about me was true.  He replied the same could be said for him.  Except that she had told me next to NOTHING.  That day when we were out on the river, McGuy had no questions for me.  He talked, but did not attempt to engage me in any way, aside from answering my questions.  Towards the end of our time on the river, we found a swimming spring, docked the kayaks, and dove in.  Well, Sis dove in... it took me a bit longer to get fully submerged and McGuy took longer still.  I asked him What do you call a Scottish chicken?, attempting to be funny. 

At that point Sis and I decided to take a little swim further into the spring, and McGuy stayed behind.  I told her, I think he's nice, but you need to be SMART.  That's all I said.  I wanted to say so much more but I know that she is a grown-up, capable of making her own decisions.  She did not leave me alone with McGuy that day, otherwise I would have had ample opportunity to grill him about his intentions and find out if he has any kind of plan for the future.  Sis has had enough heartache, and more than her share of bad boyfriends.  I know McGuy makes her laugh but in my humble big sisterly opinion there is much more to life than laughter.  There's stability.  Responsibility.  Reliability.  Employability.  These are very important -abilities. 

After returning the kayaks we went to a local dive bar for drink (my throat is still swollen from the amount of second-hand smoke I inhaled) and then I took off to enjoy an evening in Sanford with Jerry and the lovable dogs.  It was really good to spend time with my sister in her world, and I definitely plan to do more of that, but I wish I didn't have to worry about her so much.  She's supposed to go back to community college in the fall, where she'll train for a job in the medical field, but at this point in the summer, she is kind of paralyzed, afraid to move.  She has such a caring heart, and is so good with people who are hurting.  She has a lot of amazing qualities to offer the world.  She just needs to push through her fear.  Which is a lot easier said than done.  I know this.

While I drove to Sanford, I began to be painfully aware of my legs, and I realized that when I had been crazily applying sunscreen to all of my exposed upper-body parts, I wholly neglected my legs.  And feet.  They were just a bit pink, and awfully warm.  I showered at Jerry's, shaved my legs, and they got even pinker.  Yesterday morning when I attempted to shave, the shaving gel turned to liquid almost as soon as it touched my skin.  NOT good.   Today I didn't even try to shave at all.  I've been liberally applying aloe with lidacaine (which according to my friend Jessica is the best remedy for a nasty sunburn) and I am happy to report that the pain is easing up a little. (And I'm sure you appreciate the notes on my shaving experiences these past three days!)

For today, I will leave you with this parting anecdote:  I was standing at the fish counter yesterday at Publix and my legs were the same color as the glistening pink salmon.  I observed the eyes of a teenager standing nearby grow wide with disbelief when she saw my legs.  I looked at her and asserted.... NEVER forget to put sunscreen on your legs when you go kayaking in Florida.  I am a walking advertisement for sunscreen... my upper body didn't get burned at all!  My legs... well... they don't call me Two-Tone for nothing.