Meet the (Gulp!) Children

Otherwise known as... A Birthday to Remember...

The last time I was at Ztastic's parents' home, I brought a homemade vegan lemon blueberry loaf for them to have for breakfast when they didn't have time for anything else, and vegan rosemary chocolate chip cookies for dessert that evening, or maybe as an afternoon snack for Ztastic's sweet boys, ages 3 and 5.   (Thank-you, Isa Does It, for providing both delicious recipes.)

We had the lemon blueberry loaf for dessert, and the cookies remained untouched.  Truth be told, I had made them with Ztastic's boys in mind.

Every kid should come home to homemade chocolate chip cookies, at least, on occasion.

Everything... in moderation.

So, when the boys had the cookies, they asked their Nana (Momtastic) if she made them.

No, my friend Jennifer made them.

This simple act opened the door.  Ztastic had been hesitant, understandably so, about throwing me into the mix with his children.  At ages 3 and 5, they have been through a lot of change.  Change they didn't ask for, but change they got.  And that much change, at that young age, is really, really hard.

As a school counselor, I completely understand, and appreciate, Ztastic's reticence.  If only every parent were as cautious when it came to blending their children with their new love.  Early on in our relationship I told Ztastic I would never pressure him about meeting his children.

I think I failed.

I don't like to fail.

Sometimes failure is necessary, to grow.  (I know this all too well.)

I'm not sure which one of us grew, but the fact that the children knew me as their Nana's friend gave an opening for me to join Dadtastic's birthday party.  Ztastic's dad turned 65 on Sunday.  I had hoped I would get to join in the celebration but I knew that the boys would hopefully also be present, even though it was their mother's day with them.

Custody is complicated.

And sad.

And hard on everyone.

Thus on Sunday, Ztastic picked me up, and we planned for an Uber to take me home.  Ztastic's dad is Austrian.  Wine consumption was an integral part of the day.

Don't drink and drive.  Enough said.

When we arrived at Ztastic's parents' home, I had butterflies in my stomach.  Momtastic greeted us at the door and hugged me.  Youngest is napping but Oldest is awake.  I could make out a small figure at the dining room table.  My eyes started to water.

This was a big moment.

Momtastic put her arm around me as we walked toward the table.  Jen, you'll be fine.  Just be yourself.  It's okay.

And we started talking.

A bit later, Youngest woke up from his nap, and before I knew it we were all playing in the pool together.  It was fun.  Really fun.  It had probably been twenty years since I played in a pool with children.  The pool is infinitely more interesting with children to corral.  It was awesome.

After pool time everyone worked on completing the feast, a South African braai of an assortment of grilled seafood-- shrimp, mussels, and lobster tails.  Seasoned rice, boiled potatoes, and a salad filled with all kinds of good things rounded out the menu.

My job was cleaning the mussels, and I was assisted by Ztastic's youngest on a stool next to me.  Truth be told, I cleaned each mussel myself first, then gave the mussel to Youngest to put under the water (again) and carefully place into the bowl.  Inefficient, but joyful.

Finally we sat down at the table together and feasted.  And feasted.  And feasted some more.  I hurt myself on that seafood.  (Ztastic and I need to have a talk about his fervor to push food on me, and my allowance of the pushing...)

Dessert and singing to Dadtastic rounded out the long, lovely evening.

I am not sure when I'll meet the children again but one thing I know for sure is that being around them felt as natural and real as being around their dad.

And I am patient.

And my heart is full.

And life is beautiful.

2016, the Year of Love and Magic, continues, and does not disappoint.