Frumpy No More

Otherwise known as... Sometimes You Need to Hear the Hard Stuff

Just over a year ago, I reconnected with an old friend from Florida State, "Jack".  We had pledged Alphi Phi Omega together, a co-ed service fraternity whose motto is Be a Leader, Be a Friend, Be of Service.  It was the best of both worlds-- we had social events like hayride and formal, but the main purpose of the fraternity was community service.  Sure, we partied on Friday night, but we were up EARLY on Saturday morning to do service projects like Adopt-a-Highway, Habitat for Humanity, and cleaning up the grounds at the Ronald McDonald House, just to name a couple of the cool events that we worked on. 

I didn't know Jack very well when we were in A Phi O, but I remember thinking he was cute, and funny.  I didn't know him well enough to know if he was smart, but two out of three ain't bad.  My strongest memory of Jack was being at a party and having him telling me that he couldn't wait to put my laugh in a movie.  (He was a film student.)  I got busy with my major during senior year and wasn't very active in the fraternity.  I lost touch with a lot of friends... including Jack.

A couple of years ago we reconnected on Facebook, as is the way of these modern technological times we live in.  He was now an attorney living in Orlando, but we never quite were able to get together until May 2010.  We met at a BJs Brewery near the fancy mall in the big town near my small town.  I remember that it was storming so hard that we called each other... we were still in our cars due to the rain.  Finally, I made a run for it.  Jack followed soon after.  We had a nice lunch-- it was great to see someone from those memorable years I was active in Alpha Phi Omega.

Jack and I kept in touch over the next couple of months.  He was one of the many wonderful people who were of assistance the day I moved my things out of my house and into a POD.  That August, the day I came back from the cruise I bravely took solo, we went to Leu Gardens for the Friday night movie in the Gardens.  I don't recall what we saw (upon reexamination, I think it might have been Iron Man), but I do remember that I wore one of the cute dresses I had bought for the cruise.  We had all the delicious food and drink I described in Twilight... Interrupted.  After the movie, we went back to his place, and he asked me if I wanted to go for a drink at the dive bar that's around the corner from his Colonialtown duplex.   

If I have any more to drink, I won't be able to drive home.

No problem-- you can take the bedroom, I'll sleep on the couch. 

In that case... sure... let's go!

We had a couple of beers, and Jack introduced me to the one and only time I've had vodka and Red Bull.  It was a terrifically enjoyable evening, especially after having spent so much of that week by myself.  (Although it was a fabulously lovely week!)  We traded barbs, and took pleasure in great conversation.  At one point Jack looked at me, and confessed, You know Jen, when you got out of the car, wearing that dress, I was really surprised.  You look GOOD in that dress.  You usually dress kind of... FRUMPY.

To this day, Jack denies that he uttered the word frumpy but I swear to you, I would not apply this word to myself if Jack had not said it.  I was shocked.  And it kind of hurt.  (Although I didn't let on in the least at the time...)

But he was right.  At the time I reconnected with Jack, in May 2010, I had gotten into a Gap t-shirt and shorts comfort zone.  I weighed twenty pounds more than I do now.  Clothing was functional, not stylish or cute.  I was in a rut.  And as previously documented, I was really, really unhappy with where I was in life.

Not two weeks later, I went shopping.  Every item of clothing that was tried on had to pass the following test:

1.  Is it a little bit sexy? (If the answer was yes, it went into the maybe pile.)

2.  Is it in any way frumpy or plain? (If the answer was yes, it went in the no pile.)

3.  Does it fit my body correctly?  (It couldn't be too big, or too small, but just right!  If it was just right, then it was a yes!)

I still have those clothes.  And every time I've gone shopping since then, that has been my litmus test.  I'm not looking for merely functional, although functional must be part of the package... I'm looking for clothes that make me feel good when I put them on.  Clothes that say something about who I am when I wear them in public.  Most of them come from the Loft outlet store.  They are super-cute, and relatively inexpensive, and I have to say, they make me look amazing. Or at least, as amazing as I can look. 

Today I wore a super-cute black sheath dress with white stitched details around the neckline and hem that hangs a couple of inches above my knees. It is one of the most comfortable dresses I own, if not the most comfortable.  A size small!  Everyone I encountered today, from women in the bathroom to my great circle of counselor-friends, told how me great the dress looked.  (It made me feel incredible.)  I doubt I would have bought it if I hadn't been told, one year ago, that Jen, you're kind of cute, but you usually dress kind of... frumpy. 


A little bit of honesty from an old friend changed my life.