Friends with Kids...

Otherwise known as... Biological Clock... Fail...

As stated in The Reunion-to-Be... I had dinner plans with old friends from college tonight.  Today was also the conclusion of ten consecutive Saturdays spent in class at Stetson.  I've had a cold for nearly two weeks.  Today I sneezed each and every hour of class.  Perhaps a couple more than that.  I sneezed so much that people stopped blessing me.

In America it's an odd thing to not be blessed after a sneeze, but I got that I had worn out my "God bless you" quota for the day. 

After class we continued our tradition of toasting another course completed at the Celebration Town Tavern.  This worked out well, because I was meeting my old friends at the tavern for dinner at 6:30.  At precisely that time, and not a moment before, I took leave of my peers to join the other group.  As I stated last night, three of us are still single.  Two couples were joining us as well.

I didn't know there would be kids in our midst. 

I work with teenagers each and every school day, and of course when I spend time with family during Christmas and other family holidays, there are always children running about the house.  In my daily personal life, I don't have a whole lot of interaction with children.  One of my oldest friends had a baby a year ago, and we've only seen each other a couple of times since then.  Everything changes when friends have kids.  I get that.  It's normal.

Tonight, however, one couple had two well-behaved young sons, and the other couple brought along their youngest of four, a beautiful, tiny, perfect baby girl.  The father of four could not stop talking about the trials and tribulations of being a parent of multiple children.  He was sitting directly across the table from a group of late thirtysomething professional women, whose lives had led them to the path less traveled.

When I studied Elementary Education at Florida State University, I never thought, in a million years, that I would be nearly forty without a family of my own.  I understand that I have made choices in life have lead me here.  I also understand that for many of my students I am more of a parent than what they get at home, and I am able to give them more because I don't have my own children waiting for me at the end of a long day at work.  My work is a component of the proverbial village that it takes to raise a child.

Still, as I listened to him going on and on (and on!) I could feel my cheeks getting hot, and the tears rising, and my emotions getting the better of me.  I asked for the check, and excused myself to go to the washroom, so I could regain composure, and breathe.

Breathing is most helpful in these situations.  :-)

When I returned to the table, I paid my bill, and begged off for the evening.  My nose feels like it is as big as my head.  I've been on antibiotics for over a week.  All I really want to do is go for a nice long run with my colorful new sneakers and an iPod playlist full of songs that kick serious tush.  Running has a way of centering and putting life into perspective.  That perspective is lacking at the moment.  Because this cold won't.... go... away.

True confession time:  I sobbed as I steered my car home.

I share this story not to stir pity in the heart of the reader, but perhaps... sensitivity.  As single women, we put on a brave face, and we high five each other about having freedom, and space, and opportunity for spontaneity and travel.  We have rich, full lives of adventure and joy.  But you know... I would definitely trade my single life for the fulfillment of parenthood.  (That's not to say that everyone would.)

I know the grass is always greener, and some of my friends with kids wish they could have the time and space and opportunity that I have as a single person... but to build a family... is a true accomplishment.  A life's work that need not be justified.

Kid President, in his splendid pep talk, says that the road less traveled is full of "rocks, thorns, glass... and it HURTS, man!" 

He's not kidding.  The road less traveled is the life I am meant to lead.  It's uncharted territory, and I'm figuring it out as I go along in this school of life.  That's the best I can do.  I am making the world a better place, and I'm on the road to awesome, and for now... that's enough.