Ten Lessons Learned in Life... and Death

Otherwise known as... All Good Things Must...

I'd like to begin by saying that it feels a bit premature to be composing a post of this nature, as it is not December, which is when folks typically reflect on their year's ups and downs.  That said, it is my fervent hope in describing the lessons I've learned thus far this year that I can turn the page.  These are but a few of the lessons I have learned in life... and death... in 2012.

1. I learned that hosting a post-funeral gathering in the house where one rents a room is a bad idea.  (More on that in The Last Thing I Expected.)
2. I learned that grief is the enemy of joy.  By virtue of grief being grief, most people would already get that, but I was in no way prepared for how much losing a parent would rock my strong foundation to its core. 
3. Along that line, I learned that it is monumentally difficult to celebrate the distinction of being named Counselor of the Year when going through the fight of my life.
4. I learned that going on vacation with one's recently widowed mother-- while sounding quite noble and healing in theory-- is actually quite painful in reality.  (Readers know that I think the world of my mother, but eight days was a bit extreme and not at all what I needed.)
5. I learned to always, always, ALWAYS shut off the water main when going away for a few days.  Mom's condo flooded in July while she was on vacation and she's been living with me since mid-July while the renovations are completed.  We're rounding out the home stretch now.  Which brings me to my next lesson:
6. I learned an extra bedroom is a must.  When I rented my apartment, everybody kept asking "Why two bedrooms?"  I wanted to have an extra room in case I had visitors, of course!  Plus, I wanted a little home office of my own.  Little did I know I'd have a full-time house guest for 2 months.  I thank Providence that I rented a two-bedroom at the start of the summer.
7. I learned that Mad Men is not the best marathon to get sucked into when one is battling negative forces in one's life.  Great show.... but very, very depressing.
8. I learned that when in a relationship and the other person is giving you all he's got and you can't even come close to doing the same, it's best to let go.  The imbalance was unfair to GDA and beating myself up for not being a better girlfriend didn't help the situation.  We broke up, with hugs and tears a week ago.  True to form, GDA was understanding and wonderful.  (Which of course made breaking up that much harder.  Why can't he be a jerk and I can be glad I'm rid of him?!)  I know for sure that I've got to focus on getting back to myself before I can open my life up to someone else.
9. I learned that the biggest mistake I made was to stop running.  I am sure that through running I will find my way back to the Jen everyone knows and loves, by placing one foot in front of the other.
10.  I learned the importance of reaching out to my friends when the whole of me wants to retreat into the safety of a cocoon.  Truth be told, I still do quite a bit of cocooning, but I am doing my best to reach out a bit more.

I spoke to a friend last night on the phone who told me this:  Jen, when you know what happy is you definitely know when it's gone.  I know you'll get it back. 

So dear friends, I am now accepting hugs, invitations out, and hot cups of tea.  I am working on finding my joy, and regaining the raucous laughter for which I am known.  It's what Dad would have wanted.  It's what I want.  And maybe we can all turn the page on this difficult chapter, together.