A New Year... and Newly Single... Sort of

Otherwise known as... Welcoming the Year of Hope...

My friend Linette doesn't consider me single when I have a boyfriend.  Apparently being in a relationship precludes a true single status.  After GDA and I broke up, an attempt was made to rekindle my relationship with Joe, an ex-boyfriend who had had some demons that I couldn't live with a couple of years ago, who had nonetheless remained in my life as a sometime lunch/movie companion.  Our outings were so relaxed and devoid of the issues we had when we were together, that trying again seemed the natural thing to do when we both found ourselves without love interests. 

In my world, intelligence and rich conversation are seductive.  I was aware that I was the Light to Joe's Dark, and thought if I just brought enough sparkle to the table, that it would spill over into Joe's life as well.  I was wrong.  Lesson learned.


We broke up New Year's Day.  It is not necessary to recount the details, only to say that I learned when something doesn't work the first time, it most likely won't work the next.  Joe's demons had been tamed, but still lurked in the shadows... and I couldn't live with waiting for the next time they would resurface, which was unfortunately inevitable. 

So I begin 2013 living up to Linette's definition of single.  I now call 2012 the Year of Mourning and Despair-- a bit melodramatic but it helps to see last year through the lens of humor.  2013 is the Year of Hope.  I am beginning a new program of study at Stetson University, and training for Disney's Princess Half-Marathon.  I've been contemplating returning to Salsa Heat once a week.  I have missed the thrill of salsa dancing.  And so I remain hopeful as I embark on these tasks.

I have decided to allow a bit of space before wading back into the dating pool.  I'm not sure how much time I'll have to sustain a relationship while balancing work and school for the next eighteen months, and yet I'm acutely aware of the omnipresent biological clock.  (I really hate this metaphorical bastion of offspring production capability.) 

Nonetheless, taking time off from the dating scene seems apropos.  And that, to me, feels exciting!  An opportunity to get to know myself on a deeper level and to be more comfortable in my own skin. 

Of course, I realize that making this declaration probably means that I'll meet my future husband tomorrow.

And that might be okay, too.  :-)