Take Me to the River...

Otherwise known as... Kayak for One

Last week was exhausting.  College application help sessions, next-step help session, training and planning for summer, an expo for undecided students, followed the very next day with an event to celebrate our students who have made a decision about life beyond My New Small Town High School. 

It was a very full week, working tremendously long days making sure all the logistical elements were in place.

Logistics are a pain, and so very important.

Friday night I met an old friend from college at my favorite outdoor dining spot, The Eden Bar at the Enzian.  He became a lawyer in his 30s, and now at nearly 45 he is transitioning to going back to school to become a nurse.  Wow.  And yes, I felt jealous of his ability to shed the old and become the new with no regrets.

My heart wants to go back to school to earn my doctorate, but my head keeps telling me it's only ego driving the need to hear Dr. Single.  And the uncertainty.  And, and... and.

But that's another post.

The point is that last week was quite possibly the busiest week of my life thus far, and I spent last weekend doing my best to rest and renew.  Although in saying that, I did spend Saturday morning working at the high school at the opposite end of my huge county, helping students and parents complete the FAFSA, because that is what I do... and bonus-- I was getting paid.  :-)

Saturday afternoon I did what I couldn't wait to do-- I went running.  The sky was a cloudless blue, with a breeze that wouldn't quit.  My time on the trail, in addition to putting my legs though their paces, is the time when I work out problems, focus on my breathing, and truly feel alive.

After coming home, I showered, and spent a lovely evening reading.  A task required by my book club's looming monthly meeting. 

Sunday morning I woke up feeling restless.  I didn't want to run, but it was another gorgeous day, and I needed to get outside.  I put my swimsuit on with a cute cover-up, drove to a local state park, and rented a kayak.  For one.

When I go on vacation, I often kayak alone, but when home, I usually try to get out on the river with friends.  As I paddled, I reflected on the many boyfriends I had been on this river with, giggling as we negotiated a double kayak.  Kayaking together is I think one of my litmus tests-- if you can successfully negotiate low-hanging branches, avoid hitting other kayakers, and circumvent shallow logs, it's a pretty good indicator of a successful partnership.  

That said, the last guy I went kayaking with ended up curled up in the fetal position when we had our first-- and last-- disagreement.  (After light debate over Americans' rights to health care, no less.)

It's not a perfect system.

I digress.

Sunday I paddled, and breathed good air, and watched the turtles, and gators, and native Florida birds.  As on the trail, I greeted folks and they replied.  Mostly we marveled at the weather.  It really was perfect.

As I paddled back to the park, upstream, simultaneously working hard to battle the current, while still maintaining my grateful spirit for the day, and nature's beauty, I passed a family.  Normally, I am the first to greet, but this time, a child beat me to it.  Hello!

Hello!

Is it just you?  All by YOURSELF?  He was adorable, and wide-eyed at my solo effort.

It IS!  And we all shared a great laugh.  Out of the mouths of babes.

In that moment, I was in exactly the right place at the right time.  And honestly, right now, in this kayak of life, battling my way upstream, I know I am exactly where I am meant to be.  Being single is a lot like being on the river.  It's really easy traveling downstream, going with the flow, letting things happen and not really working for it and getting there anyway.  Sometimes going much further than you intended to go... but upstream?  Going up against the current and resting for a moment and sliding backwards-- that's where the work is. 

Eventually you reach your destination and you are better for having worked at it.